Hey there! So, back when everything went down with Trinity, my life wasn't so happy-go-lucky. Basically, after I told her, she didn't really want anything to do with me. And who can blame her, really? It's an awkward situation, and I totally understood that. Basically, here's what went down:
The lights are off, contributing to the serious atmosphere.
"Look, Trinity," I begin, her back facing me as she gathers her books. "I need to tell you something."
"Alex, if it's about what you were telling Quinn, I really don't care anymore," Trinity says, exasperated as she faces me.
"No, no," I say quickly, "Just...sit down. Please." I motion to the chair nearest her while sitting in my own. I take a deep breath before continuing, bracing myself for the worst.
"Okay, it sort of is about that, but not really. What I was telling her was that..." Oh man. "Trinity -I'm gay."
........
I look up from the floor, scared senseless. Her eyebrows furrow, still absorbing what I'd said.
"Like, gay-lez...?" She asks apprehensively, blue eyes making contact with my own. Her eyebrow does the adorable thing where it quirks up when she's being sassy or confused.
"Erm, sort of," I shrug, realizing that those were not the most choice words I could've used. "I guess it's not, because the term 'gay' implies action -as in being physically with another man, or in my case, woman. The term 'same-gender attraction' is more appropriate to say."
I continued to explain to her the dynamics of what my feelings were and basically I was just a rambling mess. Eventually, I got around to the main point of it all.
"...and that's why I care about you so much, and how you feel about me." I finish weakly, trailing off as I wait for my confession to fully hit her. I study her face, searching for some sign of recognition or realization on her part, but she doesn't betray any emotion.
After sitting a moment in silence, she begins to stand. Without a word, she grabs the rest of her things and brushes past me, out the door. No eye contact, no goodbyes exchanged.
"Well," I say to myself, "That went well."
And that's how I told her. I realize now I shouldn't have told her. At least not then. Then again, we all know me and my decision-making skills. They aren't exactly the best.
Anyway, fast-forward to a week later, the beginning of Christmas break. I decided (again, I shouldn't make my own decisions at this point) it would be a good idea to visit dear Quinn at her house. Where she lives. With her sister. Trinity. Yeah.
It was...awkward. Trinity was definitely there, and we didn't say a single word to each other all night. Like, not even eye contact or acknowledgement of the other's existence.
"Are you hungry?" Quinn asked, already knowing the answer.
I just grinned at her.
"Nachos it is," she laughed as she pulled out the cheese. Ever since I had started visiting them, I'd always had homemade nachos when I came over. Trinity introduced me to the idea, but it had caught on as I visited more and more often.
I stood from my spot at the table and made my way over to their pantry. Pulling out a bag of chips, I heard Trinity begin to practice her latest piece. I tried to ignore the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach and mustered a smile.
I turned to Quinn. "Plates?"
She pointed to the cupboard about two down from the one she was using. I strode over confidently, trying to shake away my feeling of uneasiness. I could still hear Trinity playing, making it somewhat difficult to have a conversation at normal volume.
Get it together, Cohen.
I shook my head, staring at the plate of chips and cheese I'd built without realizing it. Quinn didn't say anything, aware of the awkward tension surrounding us and the whole situation.
"Here," she held out her hand for my plate. I handed it over, going around to sit down at the table. I watched as she placed one plate on the microwave base, then turned a cup upside down to elevate the other.
"Hm," I smiled, "That's pretty clever, there." She straightened after switching it on, turning towards me with a smile of her own.
"Isn't it? I found it on Pinterest, actually." Her blue eyes sparked with the excitement they usually had when talking about Pinterest. She sat next to me, a little bit of her hair falling in her face. I smiled as she brushed it out of her face. Her brows scrunched together when she noticed it, making me laugh inside. Shen noticed my silence, then looked at me questioningly. "What is it?"
"Nothing," I grinned. It's just that you're the best best friend I ever could've asked for. It's just that I die a little inside every time I see you out of pure joy and happiness that I met you. It's just that, even though I lost Trinity's friendship from it, telling you my secret has produced the best relationship I've ever had, I thought. "It's nothing."
Oblivious to the fact that I looked like an idiot, she walked over to the microwave and grabbed our nachos. Trinity was still practicing, and I looked over to see their mother walk in the kitchen wearing a look that said "we need to talk".
Her eyes grazed the room, looking for a specific someone who just happened to be setting down my food at that moment. When they connected with mine, the classic Hale grin spread on her face.
"Hi, Alex!" She said cheerily. Then in a more serious tone, "Quinn, could you come here for a minute?"
We both looked up in the sudden change in her voice, exchanging a confused glance at each other.
"Sure," Quinn dropped the chip she was about to eat, throwing me a reassured look over her shoulder as they exited the room.
The next few minutes were freakin' torture. I ate my chips, alone, to the sound of my previous best friend's crazy insane piano playing. It's like it was mocking me, each dissonant note stabbing me in the chest, reminding me of what I used to have. Quinn and her mom had disappeared to who-knows-where, talking about who-knows-what, while I listened to my ex-best friend do the thing I love the most. Yeah.Tell me about it.
I looked up to see Quinn and her mom come back into the room. Their faces held a sombre tone, sending a sinking feeling into my stomach. Quinn took her place next to me while her mom continued to the room where Trinity was. After making sure she was out of earshot, I turned to Quinn.
"What did she say?" I asked cautiously. "I mean, you don't have to tell me if it's not my business."
"Uh," she began, "She just asked me about you and Trinity." Her eyes were downcast, avoiding eye contact.
"Okaaayyy," I drew out the word, hinting for her to continue.
She got it. "And I told her we were taking care of it." She looked up. Those eyes. I nodded in understanding, silently thanking the world for a best friend like her.
Suddenly, we heard footsteps on the kitchen tile. I glanced over to see it was her mom again, and exhaled a sigh of relief. She stopped about ten feet away, looking directly at me.
"So, are you and Trinity still friends?" Her arms were folded over her chest, obviously sending the "don't you dare lie to me" vibe.
Well, [insert expletive here].
My jaw dropped a little, and I looked at Quinn. Unable to think of a plausible excuse, I decided to keep it simple.
"It's complicated." Please, for the sake of my sanity, leave it at that.
We all stood in silence for a moment, Trinity having abandoned her practicing. It seemed like an hour until her mom slowly nodded her head, accepting my answer.
"Okay," she looked at us one last time before turning and leaving the room.
I exhaled a breath I didn't know I was holding. "I thought I was gonna die."
"My mom wouldn't kill you," Quinn replied, smiling at me.
"I sure hope not," I laughed, the tension easing a little. "I mean, I am her daughter's best friend. And her other daughters previous best friend."
"I never thought of it like that," she tilted her head, pondering this new information. She shrugged. "Come on, I've got a deck of cards upstairs just waiting for me to beat you at Speed."
"Oh?" I raised an eyebrow playfully as I followed her. "Bring it."
The rest of the night went without incident, luckily. And by "incident", I mean no awkward run-ins with Trinity or her mom. *wipes forehead of imaginary condensation* Praise the heavens. Although, according to Quinn, Trinity did consider us "friends" when they talked to their mom about it...Weird.
So yeah, that's all for now.
