Rylan

Rylan. She was somethin' else. I wasn't exactly attracted to her from day one so much as I was fascinated. She was so interesting to me, and I wanted to "figure her out", for lack of better words. However, my plan to know her better was thwarted by the fact that we were in different grades and different schools. In addition to the age difference, she ended up dropping out of the one number that we were in together.

Karma must've had some personal vendetta against me or something.

However, I was able to talk to her and Whitney backstage, increasing the amount of time spent between us. We laughed, we talked, we teased...it was fantastic. We were the three musketeers, per se. But, like all good things, the show came to an end all too soon. It wasn't until May that I saw her and Whitney again, when they were auditioning for our school's advanced choir. As it so happens, I was already a part of that choir.

I guess Karma decided I'd suffered enough.

Lucky for me- I mean, them; lucky for them- both of my friends had made it. I was mentally bouncing off the walls when I saw the sheet with their names printed on it. Before I knew it, summer flew by and it was time to start the new school year. With every rehearsal, Whitney, Ry and I grew closer. We laughed, we talked, we teased, all that good stuff.

Then, three months later, everything changed. I received a call from one of my friends that Whitney had been in a terrible freak accident, causing her to be life-flighted to the emergency room. The chances of her surviving? Low. None of it seemed real. Of all people, why her? She was the most innocent and sweet of all of us.

Two days later, Whitney passed away. While her death affected all of the choir members, it seemed to hit harder with me and Ry. We had been her closest friends in the choir. When she passed, everything felt off -like something was missing. Rylan and I grew closer than before, leaning on each other for support. Of course, it didn't help my situation at all. I had been crushing on Rylan ever since I met her. 

Throughout the rest of the year, we maintained a close relationship. If there was any chance I could see her, I would take it. I would walk the long way to class just to get a glimpse of her. Kinda weird; I know. But every one of my thoughts was filled with her smiling face and multicolored eyes.

Towards the end of the year, I decided to tell her my big secret: I liked her, and I couldn't help it. I don't know what drove me to do that, but I felt this relentless urge to share it with her.

Long story short, she didn't take it well (grammatical pun intended. You know, "it"...? Nevermind). I can't exactly blame her, this newfound information making it extremely awkward to be around me, but I didn't expect it to go downhill so quickly. As soon as I told her, all interaction between us stopped. I was too afraid to speak to her about it, so I avoided her like the plague, which she was just fine with. Fortunately, there was only one month of school left, giving me a refreshing two-month break before seeing her again.

Soon enough, the first day of school started. It was a nerve-wracking day for me, wondering if she would ever talk to me again. Naturally, I didn't approach her; I wanted her to be comfortable enough to come find me. Eventually she did. Slowly, oh so slowly, we rebuilt our friendship, avoiding any mention of my secret. If ignoring the problem was the only way for us to become friends, I was happy to do it. However, as soon as the tension was broken, it was almost as if nothing had changed. Almost. But despite the different atmosphere, our new friendship was better, in a way. I can't exactly explain it, but once she was used to the idea of "it", she was much more comfortable and friendly.

I don't exactly know why I'm telling you all of this; I just felt the need to tell someone. Even if there's no one reading this right now, it feels like a huge burden off my chest. Of course, this isn't the only experience I'll be sharing -this is only the beginning.